Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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