I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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