I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
The maid of honor just puked.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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