hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Houston, we have a squirter
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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