This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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