You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
