I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
