one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
