Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Randomize