I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
