I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
