My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
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