This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Randomize