he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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