i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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