So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
