I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
