no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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