im so drunk with asians
where?
always
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
