i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
