Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
