Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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