okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
