Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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