I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
