Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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