eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize