do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
