i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
