East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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