If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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