Her vagina should come with caution tape.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
