But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
