The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
