i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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