I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
