Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
