before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
