If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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