My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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