Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
