rhymes with "ouble enetration"
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
