I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
