so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
