Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
