Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.

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(228): View more from Mississippi

two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.

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(563): View more from Iowa

oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents

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(573): View more from Missouri

the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl

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(614): View more from Ohio

Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though

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(214): View more from Texas

So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.

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(718): View more from New York

I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece

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(404): View more from Georgia

Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.

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