Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
nutella sex= disaster
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Randomize
