she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize