That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I cockslap morals
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
