I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize