Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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