okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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