I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
