guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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