i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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