That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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