We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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