Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
