I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
