The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
