there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
