If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize